Six Habits That Will Dramatically Improve Your Life
Hello Friends,
I’ve been wondering about all of you and how your summer is going. Fun times with family and friends can be enjoyable. But sometimes spending more time with friends and family can be challenging. I thought I would give you some recommendations on what I have learned that has made my life happier and more enjoyable.
When I was in my thirties, I read Daniel Goleman’s book, “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ”. The concept of this book fascinated me. I had been searching for ways to improve my lifestyle, and that included ways of learning to think positively and how to manage my emotions. I had discovered that my way of thinking had a huge impact on my healing from Multiple Sclerosis. I was also willing to gain a deeper understanding of the topic.
I was excited to learn that the theme in the book taught me that I had the ability to manage both my emotions and understand the emotions of the people around me. I started to grasp that my feelings resulted from the messages I was telling myself. And my thoughts had much more to do with how I was feeling than what was actually happening in my life. I began my journey to learn everything I could about Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Today, I want to share insights about Emotional Intelligence and the six habits that will greatly improve your life as they did mine.
First, I want to give you the five components of EQ:
1. Knowing our emotions
2. Managing our emotions
3. Recognizing emotions in others
4. Managing relationships with others
5. Motivating ourselves to achieve our goals
Did you know that EQ contributes more to successful and enjoyable living than IQ? Since EQ is learned rather than inherited, it can be improved.
These six habits will cultivate your EQ. We have to be very careful in choosing our pursuits because our habits make us. Cultivating the habits that follow will send you in the right direction. These six habits will lead you to a more meaningful and fulfilling life, where you can be your best self.
Stay away from people who erode your quality of life. There will always be toxic people who get under your skin. There are plenty of people out there who deserve your attention, and the last thing you want to do is think about the people who don’t matter.
Appreciate the here and now. Gratitude is fundamental to peace and happiness, not wealth, glamour, or something you don’t have, but simple appreciation for what you do have.
Realize that things aren’t always as you perceive them to be. This goes along with appreciating the here and now. Be open to the possibility that life might have some surprises in store, because what you see is not always what you get.
Do something that reminds you who you are. It is time for those activities that we feel most authentically ourselves doing, when all the masks are off and we can just be.
Say no. If you are a person who can’t say “No”, you are more likely to experience stress, burnout, and even depression, all of which erode self-control. Saying “No” is a powerful word that is an act of self-control and will honor your existing commitments.
Stick to realistic goals. Set goals that push and challenge you, but stay within the bounds of reality.
Your character is determined by your attitude and how you spend your time, and so is happiness. Stop chasing the things that you think will make you happy, and start realizing that your peace and happiness are entirely up to you.¹
A good resource to learn more about Emotional Intelligence is the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0. Buy the book and take the test. It is a game changer.
Next newsletter, I will focus on Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and how this form of therapy helps change the way you think.
Have a healthy and happy summer,
Cindy Wageman
1. Bradberry, Dr. Travis, Emotional Intelligence 2.0 (2009)